(Phil Bray, Lionsgate)
The Expendables are back, but they are not necessarily better than ever. The third go-round of Sylvester Stallone’s every-action-dude-ever franchise is getting roasted by critics, who probably had enough with Expendables 1 and 2. The movie currently has a rotten 35% score on Rotten Tomatoes. We rounded up the best critic slams, which might hurt even more than getting punched by all the Expendables. Get ready for a lot of old-people jokes.
“The Expendables 3 is as boneheaded and disposable as it sounds.”
NPR:
“The third installment in Sylvester Stallone’s jobs program for expired action heroes is easily the best of the bunch, which is not to say it’s any good.”
“This Sylvester Stallone franchise has devolved into the clown car of action movies: a casting gimmick to see how many AARP actors you can cram into one vehicle.”
“The Expendables 3 lets down its cast with a film that’s about as thrilling as the arrival of a monthly Social Security check.”
“If you’ve seen the first two Expendables, you know exactly what you’ll be getting with the third: a testosterone burger, heavy on the ketchup with a hefty helping of hot lead on the side.”
“You need The Expendables 3 like you need a kick in the crotch, and while this running-on-fumes sequel may not be quite as painful a thing to experience, it will waste considerably more of your time.”
“Rather than artificially extend its life, maybe the time has come to say Rest in Peace.”
“A sad, bad parade of uninspired cameos and listless violence.”
“Cripplingly lifeless.”
